When I first started this blog I had only one aspiration for it and that was to help anyone who had to endure their significant other go away for bootcamp. At that time it seemed like the most frightening thing to go through but to be completely transparent with you guys I am starting to see that it was only the beginning.
I told myself, “If I get through these eight weeks I’m going to start a blog!”
I had so many unanswered questions then and thought that if I somehow got through those eight weeks I would become some wizard when it came to being a Navy girlfriend. (Just so ya’ll know I didn’t.)
However, I do know what life looks like now after bootcamp and I am here to document it all.
What does life look like after bootcamp?
In the beginning life after bootcamp may seem chaotic and messy.
Life after bootcamp is a lot of little brush strokes strewn together to paint the rosiest of pictures.
It has been a month since Jeremy graduated from bootcamp and we both agreed it went by way too fast.
Life after bootcamp is the same in the sense that he still lives in a different state ( South Carolina) and I’m still in California. Then there are the more obvious differences like he is now able to communicate with me through a phone and there’s no longer the waiting by a mailbox hoping for letter kinda days ( Thank God!).
We went from a normal college relationship to being a long distance couple.
He literally lives across the country from me and that scares me. I trust Jeremy wholeheartedly that’s not what scares me. I’m a planner and I’m scared that this is something I have no control over. I have no idea when I will see him next or when he will be coming home . . . what if I never get to see him again? … what if…?
and there I go again… fearing the unknown.
I want you guys to see my heart and be able to connect with me on a personal level.
I want to be genuine and true and I want you guys to get to know me for who I am. I am a college girl a navy girlfriend and not just some girl behind a blog.
I left Great Lakes with pride in who Jeremy had become in those eight weeks and where his future was headed.
Life after bootcamp seemed great knowing we had gone through eight weeks of hardships and challenges and we tackled each one head on.
We both left Chicago feeling confident in each other and our relationship. We had a renewed sense of purpose for both of our lives; however, as the days passed the excitement started wearing off and reality set in again.
We were 2, 184 miles away from each other and I was beginning to feel left out of this journey.
I was afraid of the distance I mean isn’t that why high school sweethearts break up before heading off to college?
I felt like I was going nowhere. Here my boyfriend was moving across the country going to a new school and meeting new friends and I had no idea who they were. I have felt this exact same feeling years ago. If you don’t know our story you can read it here. I have felt what is like to watch people around me move, get engaged, or have some other big life event and feel like I’m not going anywhere.
What if I’m not enough? What if the distance is too much? These are all my fears. Overwhelming me.
Jeremy began to let fear in as well but in a different way he was afraid of failing.
Jeremy went off to A-School in South Carolina as a Nuke. It’s crazy to think he hadn’t even begun A-School when he was already so afraid of failure.
I wanted to hug him and shake him all at the same time. I kept reminding him to never sell himself short so why couldn’t I see my worth?
My reoccurring fear dates back to the day he left for bootcamp and it was the fear that he would forget me. I didn’t want him to go off and love that life more than the life he had with me. I wanted him to succeed but a big part of me almost wanted him to say he hated it just to have the reassurance that I wouldn’t lose him to South Carolina forever.
I found many girls that I have connected with have had this same fear so I know we are not alone and you’re not wrong for thinking this way. These are all natural fears and this is the raw ugly truth of what life after bootcamp looks like sometimes not always.
The more I wanted him to hate his new life I found him embracing it and loving it. When we wrote letters to each other during bootcamp he would often tell me all the places he would like us to go once he got out of there. Life after bootcamp didn’t seem so bad then. We were actually looking forward to it so why wasn’t I embracing this change now?
I found happiness in little moments like …
He loves the fact that he gets to spew off so many military terms at me and I will sit there with a smile on my face. He likes the fact that I don’t know what this military lifestyle really entails for him and he gets to tell me all about it.
Most importantly he reminds me that I am home.
That home is where ever I am and where ever the Navy will send us.
Life after bootcamp does not have to be so daunting and scary.
There are moments when I’m walking around campus thinking I am one step closer to graduating.
I am one day closer to being with Jeremy.
Those moments when I have completely broken down do not last forever and I have learned that is just the dark side of life after bootcamp. The other side is the one we are building on at this very moment. Jeremy shows me how strong he is for the both of us and I am so thankful for that.
You are not on this journey alone. Remember that.
If your sweetheart is going away to bootcamp what are your fears? what are your fears after bootcamp?